Calm after the Storm

Sometimes one needs to be forced to stop and do something completely different to be able to see that one is going down the wrong path. This is what the past few weeks have done for me....made me re-evaluate what I want to spend my time doing. For a start I was unable to use the computer on a daily basis and the freedom that getting away from the screen was amazing. I no longer felt compelled to read my emails first thing in the morning nor to look at blogs and follow up interesting links, thus wasting a good part of my limited time. And although at first I got withdrawal symptoms as time went on I grew to like my freedom. I didn't feel I had to write something in the blog every day, especially if I really hadn't anything of note to say. I didn't and don't feel that I am compelled to do something arty every day. I began to get a life again which wasn't controlled by the urge to create something/anything. The only thing I found that I really missed doing and was a lost soul about was my dyeing. That is something I will never give up!

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So what did this tell me? That I'd been mistaking busyness for creativity. Losing the good things among a collection of also rans. And the outcome of this flash of blinding light was that today I got up early, cleaned the house and ironed some shirts and didn't feel deprived. Instead I got a great sense of satisfaction that I'd achieved a lot and it was obvious. Even Martin was impressed! Ruthlessly I threw out the junk of ages and made space for new things I'd bought in Truro on one of our visits. I'm a sucker for Lakeland stuff! And with all this activity I still had time to sit down and work out what I want to teach for next year's classes and fill in the relevant forms for Adult Education. I'm not going to do masses of long term teaching. (30 weeks) Instead I'm going to offer mini workshops on different subjects running the gamut from art and dyeing to patchwork and quilting. This will keep me interested and on top and give the students a chance to try out lots of techniques. I love teaching and know I do it well. So I don't want to give it up. I will work around it and set myself mini goals each day. For the first time in years my finances are on a more stable keel and I don't have the anxiety about income that has been my lot for longer than I care to remember. This makes such a difference. It is very true that saying...Beggars can't be choosers!

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I know where I am going and I know what I want to do. And I've had a chance to understand what it is I'm good at and what things I don't want to do...ever again! Also I've been reading the book Eat that Frog by Brian Tracey. This is a brilliant book and it has given me new direction and life. All things that at various times I've done but not collectively and that is the secret. Standing back and taking the time to sort through the varied activities has been good karma. I'm not worried as to whether my work is naturalistic or abstract I'm just concerned that I give it my best shot and do what makes me feel happy. I'm going to expand on the things I do best and make sure that I learn as much as I can about the techniques that interest me. Instead of being a Jack of All Trades and a Master of None....I'm going to be a Master of a couple of things at least! I think it was Lisa Call who said in one of her blog writings that experimenting was a good thing to find one's path...or words to that effect, but then it was time to get down to serious work. Well I agree with this and although there will be experimentation I'm going to train myself to work through projects and build up a body of work. The size of a piece of work isn't going to intimidate me. If its small that's OK. If it's big that's also OK though it will be a struggle as I don't have space. But I've no doubt I'll find a way round the lack of space. I feel very relaxed now that I am not forcing myself to be on a treadmill. I know that one will never accomplish all one wants to in this life time but with good organisation the important things can be achieved! And now to eat my stew and dumplings! The picture by the way is Charleston harbour nr St Austell.